Monday, July 5, 2010

The Ruddbot, bad design hurts.

Now that the Ruddbot has been casted off by the headkickers of Sussex st, I decided to look at the design to see where it went wrong and if there was anything I can salvage for RoboGough.

1. Empathy module. Clearly worked like a treat before the election. The "Kevin07" module, the Sunrise appearances, his tentative social media experiments worked fine. However, when he got to the Lodge, there must have been a power surge. What the fuck was he thinking about fucking around with the aussie lingo like that. It clearly showed there was a major bug in the Empathy module. However the Empathy module failed completely after Copenhagen, when the puppeteers dropped the Climate agenda. Clearly, the goodwill gained by "John Howard + Climate" subroutine failed, causing the whole module to collapse, leaving the punters bewildered and confused.

2. The Bullshitinator. Always important for a pollie, to bullshit like there is no tomorrow (because it is often the truth). This should have been working perfectly, as Howard has been using the source code for 13 years. The truth is, the Bullshitinator module was badly ported to the Ruddbott, and he looked like a little boy caught in the biscuit barrel. If you cant lie, don't. If you can lie, don't get caught. Simple rules. Saying Climate was the "Most Important Thing EVER" then dropping it like a primed grenade was so fucking stupid, and Ruddbot was caught in the explosion.

3. Timing. The time to call a Double Dissolution election was after the 3rd vote on Climate. Clearly the number cruncher module was not even switched on.  Never leave number crunching to the Labor Machine, they are too busy working their own numbers to care for the electoral polls. Hoping the Mad Monk would crack under pressure was insane. Although I have to give credit to John and Bronwyn's bastard sprog, he surprised me by not totally fucking himself up al la Peter Debnam.

4. The Killer module. A politician needs to be a blood sport gladiator on speed. If you are not kicking your opponent in the nuts, you are kicking the heads of your caucus. However, being a killer does not mean running your ministers as announcing machines for your decisions. You need to give them breathing space, because when you (inevitably) cock punch them for fucking up, it looks more believable if the minister actually made the mistake. Cock punching because of YOUR mistake is bloody obvious to everyone, and it only makes caucus and Cabinet more willing to stab you in the back when the numbers turn to shit. As they did.

So, is there anything in Ruddbot I can use for RoboGough? Spare parts. Everything else has suckage disease, and not worth the effort in salvaging.

1 comment:

  1. Now Paul I think you are very very quick to criticise Kevin, and I think that the Australian people would like him to spend time with his family in this difficult time for him, so that I in conjunction with Sussex St can convince the skulls, lebs and shopping trolleys in Western Sydney and other marginal seats to vote for the fucking ALP.

    Julia Gillard